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Fan​-​Selected Sampler 1998​-​2017

by Martin Zellar

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1.
Barfly Blues 02:46
I really messed things up this time Too little sleep and too much wine I guess I’ll just be on my way Words wouldn’t change things anyway I made my bed, I try to sleep Three Placidyl and count some sheep It wears you down being a creep Hour-by-hour, day-by-day I stumble, crawl and make my way Through happy hours and ladies nights Drunken babble, pointless fights Yellow fingers, aching head Bloodshot eyes and spinning bed Most of my family thinks I’m dead It’s all so sad… My skin’s an awful place to be I’d change my ways if I were me It seems my fate, the dice are cast As long as my liver will last On this barstool I will lurk Overweight and out of work No use denying I’m a jerk Bar pour whiskey, ten cent tips Frequent zigzag bathroom trips Pickled eggs, stale bags of chips It’s all so sad…
2.
Wore Me Down 02:50
Let me up, I’ve had enough I just can’t take this I need to slow my heartbeat down Unclench my fists Little-by-little and day-by-day You hammered me hard And you chipped away You wore me down Yeah, you wore me down You only broke my heart Because I let you break it You didn’t steal my joy I let you take it Do what you want with your own time I’ve given you enough of mine You wore me down Yeah, you wore me down I know life’s not fair But it could be better It’s hard work to care It gets harder every day You only broke my heart Because I let you I should have walked away Should have chose to forget you Little-by-little and day-by-day You hammered me hard And you chipped away You wore me down Yeah, you wore me down I know life’s not fair But it could be better It’s hard work to care It gets harder every day
3.
How could you have been so selfish Say the thing you say Lead me on and break my heart Then turn and walk away How could I have been so foolish So blind so naïve I was looking in your eyes Instead of up your sleeve Time will tell Was it midlife did you in Do you think she really loves you Stay through thick and thin Shame on you For treating me so bad Turned your back on all those years And everything we had I’m still trying to get my bearings Living here alone I have friends, but they have families Problems of their own I never dreamed I’d feel so helpless Don’t think it’s sunk in What’s the first step one should take To start their life again Maybe time Will heal my aching heart Maybe someday I’ll be grateful For this brand-new start Right now that seems Oh-so-far away Takes most everything thing I’ve got To make it through the day I still can’t believe this happened Seems like some bad dream I got the house, a little money Lost my self esteem Sometimes I hope you’ll beg forgiveness Maybe move back in Most the time I hope I’ll never See your face again Time will tell Was it midlife did you in Do you think she really loves you Stay through thick and thin Shame on you For treating me so bad Turned your back on all those years And everything we had Turned your back on all those years And everything we had
4.
I stood up from that barstool Just a half a drink away from being sick I reached into my pocket Pulled my ten year coin out And left it for a tip I tried to clear my head and figure out Just where the hell it all went wrong I can’t say I’m surprised it’s come to this I’m just surprised it took this long For all these years I’ve lived in fear That what I was might be what I really am Ain’t no one bought this good guy bit I’m a piece of shit The whole thing’s been a sham When I was younger I used to wonder What could cause a man to just lie down and die I wish that I was younger still And I wish that I still had to wonder why I’ve got a wife and kid at home They ain’t never seen this ugly side of me I gave my life to Jesus six years back But you know they’ve only known me three When I was younger I used to wonder What could ever bring a man to want to kill It scares the shit right out of me to admit That I don’t have to wonder still I thought this would be devastating But you know, I feel relieved The hardest part was breaking all the hearts Of all those people who believed Please, dear God, I’m on my knees Just tell me where the hell it all went wrong I can’t say I’m surprised it’s come to this I’m just surprised it took this long
5.
Open your eyes and look around Then slowly get up off the ground First figure where you are Find your keys, your coat, your car I don’t want to wear your crown I’ll only let you down Now both my feet on solid ground I take a clearer look around Things weren’t always good I’d make amends if I thought I could I was young, very young I let my life slip so far down Sometimes I think that I’ve Already sealed my fate Need a sign to hit me like a semi Tell me that it’s not too late I don’t want to wear your crown I’ll only let you down Maybe it wasn’t meant to be I’ve got a past keeps haunting me No matter how hard I try It’s there, it stares me in the eye I don’t want to wear your crown I’ll only let you down Please don’t make me wear your crown Don’t you know I was born to let you down I don’t want to wear your crown I’ll only let you down
6.
They grew up on the side of town Where the Christmas lights hung all year ‘round And the sidewalks went unshoveled And the dogs barked all night long They were skinny and they were mean Had parents that were never seen Their hair was always longer And their shirts were always tight We knew we’d never get to know them We knew we’d never try Those East Side Boys seemed further from us Than any star that hung up in the sky Those East Side Boys never seemed to eat They just smoked cigarettes across the street They stared down at the sidewalk Came to classes late On conference days it was always the same Those East Side parents never came They never read their stories Saw their artwork on the wall Once they hit the High School Around grade nine or ten One-by-one they’d disappear We’d never see those East Side Boys again They grew up on the side of town Where the Christmas lights hung all year ‘round And the sidewalks went unshoveled And the dogs barked all night long Friday nights it was always the same They didn’t go to prom or football games They wandered through the hallways Like inmates killing time We knew we’d never get to know them We knew we’d never try Those East Side Boys seemed further from us Than any star that hung up in the sky East Side Boys…
7.
They say roosters crow to greet the dawn What a load of shit Because roosters crow the whole night long And that’s the truth of it And all the drinking’s tore you up And the drugs have worn you down And the past it just keeps catching up So you just keep moving around And things that ought to scare you don’t And things that shouldn’t do There’s a killer sittin’ at your side And no one seems to see him there but you And you run because you’ve always run When things start falling down Because it’s easier to run than stand And try to hold your ground And you hide because you’ve always hid And crawled into a ball You were a scared and sad and lonely kid And you’re older now, that’s all And bit-by-bit the stories change As dreams turn into lies The truth is right in front of you But you can’t seem to look it in the eyes Sticks and stones may break my bones But words, they hurt me more I’m as fragile as I’ve ever been And I know what’s in store…
8.
Low Road 03:58
It blows in Without a sound Like paper in a puddle You break down Then it’s gone And emptiness sets in You’d give anything If you could cry again Yeah, I know The doctors say That they have these pills To take your blues away Still it’s hard I can’t pretend That it wouldn’t be like Killing off a friend It seems strange But can’t you see It’s there, it’s always Been a part of me And I’m scared To let go Of a big part of The only me I know Build it up Tear it down In this kingdom of dark dreams I wear the crown Every life Every face that I see Has a sad story That overpowers me In our hearts We must trust Or our dreams will turn to stone Start to rust Please hold on Don’t let go I’ll do my best To never let it show It blows in Without a sound Like paper in a puddle You break down
9.
I Miss 03:24
I just called to let you know That I’m coming home tonight I couldn’t wait, let’s make a date And I’ll book a red-eye flight When tomorrow comes I’ll be laying close to you Day and night, I’ll hold you tight We’ve got catching up to do I miss your hands, I miss your laugh I miss your feet I miss the way you lose your keys And those little songs you sing I miss your everything The time we spend apart Just makes me love you more When I do without, I dream about What you might have in store You know that thing they say It’s cliché but it’s true Because everyday that I’m away I fall more in love with you I miss your smile, I miss your eyes I miss your knees I miss the way you hold my hand And you fiddle with my ring I miss your everything I miss your eyes, I miss your laugh I miss your feet I miss the way you lose your keys And those little songs you sing And all the joy you bring I miss your everything I miss your every little everything…
10.
Blown Kisses 03:48
Strangers in this house Ghosts beneath my bed Fear has struck us mute Ain’t nothing being said Bad news at the door Hushed voices in the hall Hear the T.V. late at night Count the headlights on my wall Things fall apart so easily Don’t blame yourself, it must be me Blown kisses from your window make me cry It’s not hard to figure why When you total up the cost Of all we gave away And everything we lost Don’t want to hear the truth Don’t want to know what’s real I just crawl into my space Erase everything I feel Things fall apart so easily Don’t blame yourself, it must be me Blown kisses from your window make me cry It’s not hard to figure why You almost had me fooled You made just one mistake You held me far too close I could feel your poor heart break Things fall apart so easily Don’t blame yourself, it must be me Blown kisses from your window make me cry It’s not hard to figure why
11.
Sit down here and talk to me Please don’t walk away I want so bad to help you son But I don’t know what to say I’d do anything for you I’d borrow, beg, I’d pray Please don’t tear my world apart Don’t break my heart this way God knows I never hit you And I sang to you at night We went to church on Sundays Tried to teach you wrong from right On June fourteenth when you left home I cried for most the day Son, you know you’re killing me Hour-by-hour, day-by-day You’re still my pride and joy You’re my precious brown-eyed boy And that will never change This is all so hard for me So hard to understand I’ve known my share of heartbreak Don’t count myself an angry man I’d do anything for you I’d borrow, beg, I’d pray Son, you know you’re killing me Hour-by-hour, day-by-day You’re still my pride and joy You’re my precious brown-eyed boy And that will never change God knows, that will never change
12.
Live and let live Let sleeping dogs lie Laugh when you can Let it out when you cry Don’t buy into heaven or hell Be good try to live your life well Some things just happen Some choices you make Some paths you choose Others you’re forced to take Life comes at you day-after-day Use your head let your heart lead the way With what you are given Do all you can do Hold all the pain you can stand Live every moment ’til your life is through Give and take all the love that you can Things come together And things fall apart Life’s so much more Than the beat of your heart There’s so much out there to do And all of it’s waiting on you With what you are given Do all you can do Live every moment ’til your life is through You’ve got to hold all the pain you can stand Give and take all the love that you can You’ve got to hold all the pain you can stand Give and take all the love that you can
13.
Everything is shimmering The sun seems to shine In the dead of the night You roll out of bed She’s in your head Wondering when You might see her again There’s nothing you can do Surrender, give up Let it take hold of you Boy, you’ve fallen hard It’s as clear as the heart on your sleeve You’re in love You’re in love You’re always late Can’t concentrate When you’re not around her Your mind seems to wander But when she’s there You’re so aware Of the earth and the sky You can’t fight it, don’t try There’s nothing you can do Surrender, give up Let it take hold of you Boy, you’ve fallen hard It’s as clear as the heart on your sleeve You’re in love You’re in love Traffic lights Mosquito bites Can’t bring you down ‘Cause you have her around When she’s there You’re so aware Of the world, all it’s wonder Let love pull you under There’s nothing you can do Surrender, give up Let it take hold of you Boy, you’ve fallen hard It’s as clear as the sun in the sky I can tell by that look in your eye You can’t fight it boy don’t even try You’re in love You’re in love
14.
You are my all, my everything God only knows the joy you bring me I could watch you sleep all night And how I love your tiny little fingers And how I love your little toes The way you smell, your precious nose I really do love everything about you I hope that someday I can be The dad that my dad was for me Love you always, good or bad Hold you tight when you feel sad Say I love you every night Say I’m sorry when we fight I really do love everything about you I hope that someday when you’re older You’ll find true love and always hold her Tight at night, and tell her things Feel the joy that true love brings Make a difference, do what’s right Follow your dreams and always fight For those whose lives have not known grace You are my all, my everything Each day expands the joy you bring me Everything about you is sweet A perfect package, so complete I know as the years go by You’ll always be my special guy I really do love everything about you I really do hope that all your dreams come true
15.
All I Need 02:53
Give me a bottle, a cigarette A mountain of money, erase my debt A brand new suit, a loaded gun A tank of gas in a car that’ll run A thermos of coffee, Tylenol 3 A sleeping bag and a fake I.D. A Zippo lighter, a good cigar A six-disc changer in the trunk of the car With Blood On The Tracks, Let It Be Nebraska, Raindogs, Oh, Mercy Anything by old George Jones Sunglasses and a cellular phone A fake beard, hair dye, a racing form A map to anywhere that’s warm A radar detector, Vitamin B The Fredrik Exley trilogy Passport, pretzels, acoustic guitar Toll change, toothbrush, a credit card Three hours of sleep, truck stop speed That’s all I need All I need…
16.
She's Happy 04:40
She’s a housewife Her husband’s worked the night shift At the plant for forty years They have a nice little trailer In a nice little court And a poodle they love Like the child they never had They go to the VFW Club On Friday nights She has a sloe gin fizz And some fries from the kitchen Tips the waitress fifty cents Has her hair done the same way That she has for thirty years Some say her life’s useless It’s boring, it’s dull But she’s happy, she’s satisfied Nearly every day she cries When she remembers the day that Elvis died She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have She’s happy… She has a hobby She paints ceramics and bowls twice a month She goes dancing with her husband when they can Or to the wrestling matches At the local arena Some say her life’s useless It’s boring, it’s dull But she’s happy, she’s satisfied Nearly every day she cries When she remembers the day that Elvis died She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have She’s happy… Some say her life’s useless It’s boring, it’s dull But she’s happy, she’s satisfied Nearly every day she cries When she remembers the day that Elvis died She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have She’s happy…
17.
Summer Song 04:21
Fireflies Tornado skies Green and still Sirens shrill Down in the basement Listening to AM radio Kick the can Ice cream man Mosquito fog Barking dog Somebody’s calling Olly olly oxen free Sheets hanging out Mothers shout Mowers drone I’m all alone I sit in the way back Dad’s got the Twins on 830 I’m all alone All alone…
18.
I was born here near Macon In 1843 Pa moved us to Peron My mama, my brother and me We built up a small farm Worked it hard everyday Then ma took with a fever We watched as she wasted away The Lord finally took her It was early that fall Then the army come-a-knockin’ Pa and Jonah They answered the call We’ll be strong Carry on… They marched out of Darden Under Robert E. Lee Pa fell at Antietam Jonah somewhere in west Tennessee The poor boys done the fighting But it wasn’t their war They risked all to gain nothing I guess honor was what they died for I’ll be strong Carry on… They blew through the county Like a storm born of Hell They burned all the cotton They poisoned our well Now I’m back here near Macon With my pa’s family I help out with the cattle Lord I’m so lost, so lonely I’ll be Strong Carry on…
19.
In the park I saw you standing there With your shy smile and long dark hair And I can still remember the dress you wore The way you moved and so much more There were a thousand little things There were a thousand little things A thousand little things A thousand little things That stole my heart I remember your lips and your hazel eyes The way you turned the heads of all the guys And I remember the hat that you had on The way you hummed that Beatles song There were a thousand little things There were a thousand little things A thousand little things A thousand little things Right there and then I knew How much I needed you And I had to make you see That you needed me I remember your laugh and the dress you wore The way you moved and so much more There were a thousand little things A thousand little things A thousand little things That stole my heart
20.
I’m a long way from okay Still I’m better than before Cleared the lightning from my head And I crawled up off the floor I got rid of all the guns And I flushed down all the pills I finally made my way to bed I’ve got the shakes, I’ve got the chills I ain’t thinking clear No, I ain’t thinking clear I’m running on pure fear I just can’t get no traction And I’m avoiding all the mirrors All I’m hearing now is static How the hell did I get here? I ain’t thinking clear No, I ain’t thinking clear I’m running on pure fear I didn’t mean to hurt nobody Still I did it just the same No one hates me more than I do Broke down by guilt and shame I ain’t thinking clear No, I ain’t thinking clear No, I ain’t thinking clear I’m running on pure fear
21.
Evangeline 06:03
Evangeline I’ve been away too long And all I’m bringing home for you Is another sad, sad, song And the same old worn out dream Hanging by a thread Evangeline I miss your arms I miss our bed Here we are So I guess that’s where we start Trying to forgive myself That’s the hardest part Now I’m coming home I can see the lights of Leon And how they shine For you Evangeline There we were And here we are And from there to here Somehow seems so far Now I’m coming home I can see the lights of Leon And how they shine I love you Evangeline
22.
Girl you’re so pretty Like a princess in book But my pants are dirty Don’t deserve a second look Just keep on walking While I drink away my rent I won’t bother trying My luck has long been spent If only you knew me When life still tasted sweet Things would be different I’d sweep you off your feet Now I feel like poison And I’m treated just that way I sit in the shadows As you pass by every day Hey, you haunt my dreams at night Yeah, like a ghost your skin so white And your lips so red I once was a baby And a happy little boy I was an athlete My Daddy’s pride and joy Then I was a soldier Seems like four lifetimes ago Now I am nothing What happened I don’t know You know you could save me If you’d only look my way Maybe you’d linger And I’d find the words to say Hey, you haunt my dreams at night Yeah, like a Mei Kong firefight Hey, you haunt my dreams at night Yeah, like a ghost your skin so white And your lips so red
23.
I’m miles from nowhere I feel my hands begin to shake I know this feeling It’s my resolve about to break I’m falling, falling, falling Try my best to keep from calling I know it’s late, I’m drunk, and you’re asleep But I’m alone again I know I walked out I had my chance and now we’re through I didn’t realize How small my life was without you I’m crying, crying, crying Really does feel like I’m dying I know it’s late, I’m drunk and you’re asleep But I’m alone again Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say? It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten Time and time and time and time again I swore I’d hold off Until I wasn’t such a mess But I was worn down By too much loneliness, I guess I know, I know, I know It’s really time that I let go I know it’s late, I’m drunk and you’re asleep But I’m alone again Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say? It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten Time and time and time and time again Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say? It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten Time and time and time and time again Four and four and two is ten That’s how many months it’s been
24.
Let’s never grow bitter Let’s never grow old Let’s never stay inside ‘Cause the outside is cold Let’s never be angry Let’s never fight We’ll lie on our backs Count the stars every night We’ll always be friends Always be friends Always, forever We’ll hang out together We’ll always be friends Always be friends Always, forever Through all kinds of weather With you I’ll be there for you You’ll be there for me I’ll bring you a bandage Should you skin your knee I’ll pick you first And you’ll do the same If ever you need me Just call out my name We’ll always be friends Always be friends Always, forever Through all kinds of weather With you I’ll always love you I’ll always be true I’ll always smile When I think about you You’re my very best friend More precious than gold A shoulder to cry on A hand I can hold We’ll always be friends Always be friends Always, forever We’ll hang out together We’ll always be friends Always be friends Always, forever Through all kinds of weather With you

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24 song fan-selected sampler

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released November 6, 2020

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Martin Zellar Minneapolis, Minnesota

Martin Zellar first appeared on the MN music scene in the late 80s as the lead singer and songwriter for the alt-country pioneers, Gear Daddies. The Gear Daddies released 2 albums on Polygram Records before amicably parting ways in 1992.

Zellar has gone on to record and perform as a solo artist and with his band The Hardways, releasing 8 more albums on the Rykodisc and Owen Lee Recordings labels.
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