1. |
Haunt My Dreams
04:21
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Girl you’re so pretty
Like a princess in book
But my pants are dirty
Don’t deserve a second look
Just keep on walking
While I drink away my rent
I won’t bother trying
My luck has long been spent
If only you knew me
When life still tasted sweet
Things would be different
I’d sweep you off your feet
Now I feel like poison
And I’m treated just that way
I sit in the shadows
As you pass by every day
Hey, you haunt my dreams at night
Yeah, like a ghost your skin so white
And your lips so red
I once was a baby
And a happy little boy
I was an athlete
My Daddy’s pride and joy
Then I was a soldier
Seems like four lifetimes ago
Now I am nothing
What happened I don’t know
You know you could save me
If you’d only look my way
Maybe you’d linger
And I’d find the words to say
Hey, you haunt my dreams at night
Yeah, like a Mei Kong firefight
Hey, you haunt my dreams at night
Yeah, like a ghost your skin so white
And your lips so red
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2. |
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Strangers in this house
Ghosts beneath my bed
Fear has struck us mute
Ain’t nothing being said
Bad news at the door
Hushed voices in the hall
Hear the T.V. late at night
Count the headlights on my wall
Things fall apart so easily
Don’t blame yourself, it must be me
Blown kisses from your window make me cry
It’s not hard to figure why
When you total up the cost
Of all we gave away
And everything we lost
Don’t want to hear the truth
Don’t want to know what’s real
I just crawl into my space
Erase everything I feel
Things fall apart so easily
Don’t blame yourself, it must be me
Blown kisses from your window make me cry
It’s not hard to figure why
You almost had me fooled
You made just one mistake
You held me far too close
I could feel your poor heart break
Things fall apart so easily
Don’t blame yourself, it must be me
Blown kisses from your window make me cry
It’s not hard to figure why
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3. |
Wear Your Crown
03:40
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Open your eyes and look around
Then slowly get up off the ground
First figure where you are
Find your keys, your coat, your car
I don’t want to wear your crown
I’ll only let you down
Now both my feet on solid ground
I take a clearer look around
Things weren’t always good
I’d make amends if I thought I could
I was young, very young
I let my life slip so far down
Sometimes I think that I’ve
Already sealed my fate
Need a sign to hit me like a semi
Tell me that it’s not too late
I don’t want to wear your crown
I’ll only let you down
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be
I’ve got a past keeps haunting me
No matter how hard I try
It’s there, it stares me in the eye
I don’t want to wear your crown
I’ll only let you down
Please don’t make me wear your crown
Don’t you know I was born to let you down
I don’t want to wear your crown
I’ll only let you down
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4. |
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She’s a housewife
Her husband’s worked the night shift
At the plant for forty years
They have a nice little trailer
In a nice little court
And a poodle they love
Like the child they never had
They go to the VFW Club
On Friday nights
She has a sloe gin fizz
And some fries from the kitchen
Tips the waitress fifty cents
Has her hair done the same way
That she has for thirty years
Some say her life’s useless
It’s boring, it’s dull
But she’s happy, she’s satisfied
Nearly every day she cries
When she remembers the day that Elvis died
She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have
She’s happy…
She has a hobby
She paints ceramics and bowls twice a month
She goes dancing with her husband when they can
Or to the wrestling matches
At the local arena
Some say her life’s useless
It’s boring, it’s dull
But she’s happy, she’s satisfied
Nearly every day she cries
When she remembers the day that Elvis died
She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have
She’s happy…
Some say her life’s useless
It’s boring, it’s dull
But she’s happy, she’s satisfied
Nearly every day she cries
When she remembers the day that Elvis died
She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have
She’s happy…
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5. |
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Just treat me like the worthless fool I am
Turn away from me at night, I’ll understand
It won’t be easy
Please don’t leave me
Carolyn
I don’t deserve you girl, I never will
That you’ve stuck it out this long amazes me still
Just know I love you
How I love you
Carolyn
I’m down on my knees
I’ll crawl across the floor
I’ll do whatever it takes
To keep you girl
From walking out the door
I’ll do all that’s in my power to set things right
If nothing else, I’ll keep you warm at night
It won’t be easy
Please don’t leave me
Carolyn
Just treat me like the worthless fool I am
Turn away from me at night, I’ll understand
It won’t be easy
Please don’t leave me
Carolyn
Just know I love you
How I love you
Carolyn
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6. |
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Why does it hurt
These things that you say
Even though
I know you’re too drunk to think
Why do I stay
When all that I get
Are more heartaches and bruises
Don’t you know
Your words aren’t enough
To make good all the things you’ve done
And anyway
I don’t need this heartbreak
Don’t ask me why
I do what I do
I guess
It’s one more over that line
I don’t mean to hurt you
I get so frustrated
I swear
My back’s against the wall
Don’t you know
You can’t push a man too far
I just reached my breaking point
That’s all
And anyway
It won’t happen again
Sometimes it’s okay
I think that you love me
And need me
Everything’s gonna work out fine
So just give me time
I can make you happy
I swear
Just give me a little more time
I know
My words aren’t enough
To make good all the things I’ve done
And anyway
You don’t need this heartache
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7. |
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All our lives we’ve lived in debt
A jar of change our safety net
This hand-to-mouth is growing old
It’s time to play your hand or fold
To have a dream is not enough
You make it work or give it up
You deserve much more than this
Precious things need good lucks kiss
Cross my heart and hope to die
This time I’ll do more than try
This time I’ll do, do for you
Just for you
We’ve been dreaming about a home
It’s always warm and all our own
A front doorknob that’s made of brass
We’ll change the storms and cut the grass
Cross my heart and hope to die
This time I’ll do more than try
This time I’ll do, do for you
Just for you
Cross my heart and hope to die
This time I’ll do more than try
This time I’ll do, do for you
Precious you
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8. |
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They grew up on the side of town
Where the Christmas lights hung all year ‘round
And the sidewalks went unshoveled
And the dogs barked all night long
They were skinny and they were mean
Had parents that were never seen
Their hair was always longer
And their shirts were always tight
We knew we’d never get to know them
We knew we’d never try
Those East Side Boys seemed further from us
Than any star that hung up in the sky
Those East Side Boys never seemed to eat
They just smoked cigarettes across the street
They stared down at the sidewalk
Came to classes late
On conference days it was always the same
Those East Side parents never came
They never read their stories
Saw their artwork on the wall
Once they hit the High School
Around grade nine or ten
One-by-one they’d disappear
We’d never see those East Side Boys again
They grew up on the side of town
Where the Christmas lights hung all year ‘round
And the sidewalks went unshoveled
And the dogs barked all night long
Friday nights it was always the same
They didn’t go to prom or football games
They wandered through the hallways
Like inmates killing time
We knew we’d never get to know them
We knew we’d never try
Those East Side Boys seemed further from us
Than any star that hung up in the sky
East Side Boys…
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9. |
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Lay this down gently
I’m feeling unstable
Closer to glass
Than to concrete or stone
I’ll deal with this somehow
As best as I’m able
You’ve drained me of trust
And you’ve left me alone
You played on my fears
And I feigned to be blind
I guess I’m a fool
For not drawing some line
Just spare me the clichés
How things will be better
Don’t you dare claim
That you understand me
These words that you offer
Under cover of kindness
Are selfish, not selfless
And that’s plain to see
I thought you would change
That you’d settle down
How much did you think I would swallow
To keep you around?
To keep you around
You played on my fears
And I feigned to be blind
I guess I’m a fool
For not drawing some line
Right now I am calm
The rage will come later
I’ll deal with this in my own time
My own way
Right now pack your bags
And walk out that door
It takes time for the healing
Then I’ll hear what you say
I thought you would change
That you’d settle down
How much did you think I would swallow
To keep you around?
To keep you around
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10. |
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I stood up from that barstool
Just a half a drink away from being sick
I reached into my pocket
Pulled my ten year coin out
And left it for a tip
I tried to clear my head and figure out
Just where the hell it all went wrong
I can’t say I’m surprised it’s come to this
I’m just surprised it took this long
For all these years I’ve lived in fear
That what I was might be what I really am
Ain’t no one bought this good guy bit
I’m a piece of shit
The whole thing’s been a sham
When I was younger I used to wonder
What could cause a man to just lie down and die
I wish that I was younger still
And I wish that I still had to wonder why
I’ve got a wife and kid at home
They ain’t never seen this ugly side of me
I gave my life to Jesus six years back
But you know they’ve only known me three
When I was younger I used to wonder
What could ever bring a man to want to kill
It scares the shit right out of me to admit
That I don’t have to wonder still
I thought this would be devastating
But you know, I feel relieved
The hardest part was breaking all the hearts
Of all those people who believed
Please, dear God, I’m on my knees
Just tell me where the hell it all went wrong
I can’t say I’m surprised it’s come to this
I’m just surprised it took this long
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11. |
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Sometimes I swear
I need a drink
Sometimes I swear to God
I just don’t stop to think
I know tomorrow
I’ll regret all these things I did
I drank so much tonight
I just feel stupid
I didn’t go out planning
To get this drunk
I guess my plans to get up
And look for work are sunk
I know tomorrow
I’ll regret all these things I did
I drank so much tonight
I just feel stupid
God only knows why I do these things
God, won’t you tell me why
It always ends the same?
Still…
Sometimes I swear
I need a drink
Sometimes I swear to God
I just don’t stop to think
I know tomorrow
I’ll regret all these things I did
I drank so much tonight
I just feel stupid
I drank so much tonight
I just feel stupid
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12. |
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I’m miles from nowhere
I feel my hands begin to shake
I know this feeling
It’s my resolve about to break
I’m falling, falling, falling
Try my best to keep from calling
I know it’s late, I’m drunk, and you’re asleep
But I’m alone again
I know I walked out
I had my chance and now it’s through
I didn’t realize
How small my life was without you
I’m crying, crying, crying
Really does feel like I’m dying
I know it’s late, I’m drunk and you’re asleep
But I’m alone again
Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say?
It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten
Time and time and time and time again
I swore I’d hold off
Until I wasn’t such a mess
But I was worn down
By too much loneliness, I guess
I know, I know, I know
It’s really time that I let go
I know it’s late, I’m drunk and you’re asleep
But I’m alone again
Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say?
It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten
Time and time and time and time again
Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say?
It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten
Time and time and time and time again
Four and four and two is ten
That’s how many months it’s been
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Martin Zellar Minneapolis, Minnesota
Martin Zellar first appeared on the MN music scene in the late 80s as the lead singer and songwriter for the alt-country
pioneers, Gear Daddies. The Gear Daddies released 2 albums on Polygram Records before amicably parting ways in 1992.
Zellar has gone on to record and perform as a solo artist and with his band The Hardways, releasing 8 more albums on the Rykodisc and Owen Lee Recordings labels.
... more
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